Nothing

The programmed life:
/*This function does nothing
This function returns nothing*/
nothing tryToGetSomething(boolean keepTrying)
{
declare somesubstance as something
declare moresubstance as something
declare moralofthestory as nothing
declare nothing as nothing
somesubstance = something.getsomething()
moresubstance = something.getsomemorething()
while (somesubstance.notequals(empty) && keepTrying == true && nothing.relalised != "Yes")
{
somesubstance --
if somesubstance.equals(nearlyempty)
{
somesubstance = somesubstance + moresubstance
moresubstance = moresubstance ++
}
if somesubstance.doesitstillmatter == "Yes"
{
keepTrying =true
}
else
{
keepTrying =false
somesubstance = empty
nothing.realised = "Yes"
}
}
moralofthestory="Nothing works, Nothing matters"
}